Some people will go through most of their formative years without a single invite to a party. Or very few invites. Sometimes it’s not even the people that you would expect. We’re often so concerned about ourselves that we don’t stop to consider how those around us are feeling and if they’re being included.
In actuality, I’ve found some of the best times to be friends with these kinds of people are when you also are not “in” with a group. You’re the one awkwardly standing on the side not talking to anyone, and it’s easier for you to see the other people on the side also not talking to anyone.
It’s easier for you to go up and start a conversation with them when you’re not part of the “in” crowd because you’re not “busy” talking to all of them. Of course, the best kind of people are the people who are popular yet they don’t show it based on who they go up and start a conversation with.
Some may think that this is a childhood thing, but it certainly travels into adulthood. And even if it didn’t, the effects of what happens when you are young often live with you.
What I’ve found to be crazy is what one invitation does to someone’s entire mindset. You invite someone to something, and instantly, you are putting yourself on a limb not knowing if they’re even interested in hanging out with you or interested in the activity that you are inviting them to, but also because of that, they feel like you really care about that because they realize the risk.
Even if it’s someone that you don’t care about, getting a personal invitation gives the feeling like someone really wants you somewhere. It’s not just a Facebook invite to everyone, it’s a spoken invitation to you that asks you if you are going to be coming.
We (or at least I know this of myself), can get very groupy. Where I find the people that I really like to hang around with and I try to keep that to an exclusive group. Unfortunately, this not only hurts people around you, but it hurts your ability to meet more great people that you’ve never given a chance.
Give someone you normally wouldn’t an invite next time. You just might make their week, and you just might change their perspective.