Something that I’ve realized is an extremely important quality to me is that of commitment. If someone says that they’re going to be somewhere or that they’ll be able to help with something, I take them at their word and expect them to be there or to help with the thing.
In the same way, if I tell someone I’m going to be somewhere, you bet darn sure that I am going to do everything in my power to be there. Even if it’s a small thing, I hate canceling or not holding my end of those commitments.
I’ve realized, however, that not everyone has the same convictions about commitments. While in general, I do think it’s good to keep commitments (the Bible after all says “let your yes be yes and your no, no.”) I also think that I can sometimes idolize this above where I should. I’ve especially found that other cultures tend to treat these commitments very differently.
I’ve found that in a lot of Asian cultures there is more of a focus on being where you are in the moment. If that means that you end up being 2 hours late to your next thing, so be it. You are fully present where you are.
There are certainly pros and cons to either, but the important thing for me has been to get rid of the personal aspect of it. For me, when someone doesn’t show up when I’ve planned something, it’s easy for me to take that personally because I take commitment so seriously. But for them, they may have just forgotten or thought of something else and not thought twice about it. They don’t even realize that it could be affecting you in such a poor way.
In general, I once again realize that I shouldn’t take myself so seriously because no one else does. Be a good friend to those around you and look for what things they hold at the highest value and try to uphold those as you can. What a good friend we would be if we could do that.