The Center Of A Relationship

There are many things that a relationship can center around. For older couples, I’ve often heard that their relationship centers around their kids. Maybe it’s a relationship centered around activities. Probably most common, a relationship centered around the person you’re in the relationship with.

It’s easy to develop this dependency, and to most, you might ask the question, how else are you supposed to center the relationship? If that’s who you’re focusing on, why would you focus on anything else?

I’ve been dating 6 weeks now, and often when people ask about the relationship I’m in, one of the things I’ll tell them that has been most amazing in the relationship is to have someone who loves someone else more than me…most people are visibly confused by this.

Being in a relationship with someone who truly loves God first has been more than I could dream of. Many, whether Christian or not might think I’m crazy. “Isn’t it weird not to have someone who prioritizes you first?” But for me, it’s almost a relief. The truth is, I know that I’m going to fail in the relationship. No matter how hard I try, there are going to be things that I come up short in or don’t do the best I could in. But there is someone who will always be there, always be perfect, and always know the answers.

The ability for both of us to focus first on Christ in our lives has been so important as we’ve been growing closer together. Our relationship with Christ is the most important thing in our lives, and as I’ve talked about before, it’s not a hierarchy of who you care about the most. It’s not that we love Christ first and then we love our significant others second and family third. I love Christ, and through my love for Christ I am able to love others, including my girlfriend.

The problem is that when we put someone or something else in the center of a relationship, it’s a moving target. What we think it’s doing one day may be totally changing the next day. What we thought someone was before is now someone completely different. But God is never changing. He’s the same God yesterday, today and tomorrow. And because of that, both parties in the relationship can put all their weight on Him and come together in that way.

It’s not putting God first, but it’s putting him at the center. It’s putting him in everything. He’s not just the first person on your task list, he is your task list. He is the one that guides your decision in making that task list.

What I’m getting at is that it’s not just something you can put in as a part of your life, it’s a way of life. It’s a controlling factor in everything you do. 

When I tell others that she loves someone else more than me, it’s a genuine joy and happiness that comes through this. Whether I am in her life or not, she can be content in Him, but she can’t be content in only me. So how could I desire anything less for someone I care about so much?

The center of the relationship is an important thing to think about when it comes to a lot of people, whether friends or someone more than friends. I would highly recommend taking a few minutes to think about where it’s coming from and figuring out how sustainable that relationship is.