“Just be positive. Believe you’re going to succeed and you will. Focus on the good, don’t think about the bad. Decide you won’t fail and you won’t.”
How many “positive thinking” quotes have you seen that say something along these lines? While this might give a slight boost in the short-term, these seemingly positive messages are not productive in the long-run.
Life is tough. We often experience discouragement and are afraid to take the next step. We get down on ourselves with negative thoughts that seem to drive us away from our goals. When we’re using all of our energy fighting these negative thoughts, how can we possibly accomplish anything?
Unfortunately, these “positive thinking” spiels are only treating the symptoms of a deeper problem. You are trying to convince yourself that there are no downsides to doing anything so that you have the inspiration to go after a project.
What if instead, you start thinking critically about these “negative thoughts.” Where do they come from? Why do you believe them? Is there truth to them? We can try and convince ourselves of all the positive lies we want, but remember, that’s what they are: lies.
Critically thinking, we may, in fact, have a larger chance at failure than we have at success, but if we use that to drive us rather than discourage us, it can be one of the greatest motivators there is. “Because it is probable that I will fail, I will work twice as hard to see that I don’t.” This isn’t a pessimistic approach, it’s a purposeful and critical thinking approach.
I love what T.K. Coleman says about this in the Office Hours Podcast:
“Your negative thoughts don’t come out of nowhere, your negative thoughts are based on a conceptual framework. A set of assumptions based on vantage points you have about the way the world works. It’s based on beliefs you have that you haven’t even questioned. And the funny thing about assumptions is that assumptions don’t show up as assumptions. Assumptions show up as reality.
If you have an assumption, you literally experience the world as if that’s just how it is. The moment you shine a light on that assumption and you become aware of it, it no longer shows up as reality but it shows up as an opinion. And it still may be difficult to change, but now you can influence a little. Now it becomes a little more malleable. A little bit easier.
This is why I believe in philosophical thinking more so than positive thinking because when we say “positive thinking” we usually mean “try to trick yourself into feeling better by telling yourself it’s going to be fine.” Whereas philosophical thinking is about saying, “I know that underneath this reaction are assumptions that I haven’t questioned and I’m going to challenge these beliefs, I’m going to inquire into them.”
Don’t take negative thoughts at face-value, but stop trying to get rid of them with this “positive thinking” nonsense.
If the glass is empty, I can A: Be sad that’s it’s empty and do nothing. B: Pretend that it’s full and convince myself I can drink it. C: Understand why it’s empty and pour myself another drink. Remix your negative and positive thoughts together, it will be the greatest bop you’ll ever hear.
To hear Isaac Morehouse and T.K. Coleman riff on this subject, check out the Office Hours Podcast Episode that inspired me to write this. The entire episode is great, but here’s a link to where they start talking about this subject: Perfume on manure.