Have you ever had a conversation with someone else about someone you mutually dislike and talk about why you dislike them? All of the intricate pieces that make them a person that you don’t like hanging out. You of course would never tell them these things, but it feels good to feel heard talking to someone else about all of these issues you have with the other person.
I could give you a list of reasons why this is wrong and a poor pattern to find yourself in, but instead, I want to focus on the opposite.
How often do you find yourself talking with someone about how much you like someone else? It probably happens less than talking about how much you dislike someone, but it still probably happens. What if, the next time you did this, after you were done talking about that person you send them a quick text thanking them for their friendship. Maybe even telling them that you were having a conversation about how you appreciated their friendship and them.
So often we like talking about how much we don’t like people (though not to their face) but think of how many people’s days we might make if we just reached out to them when we were thinking about them.
Great idea! Positive talking, sharing. Although why stop at a text? Send a note you took time to hand write and send snail mail. That takes a bit more planning and being deliberate action.