Well, I’ve already done it. I missed a month. I didn’t send anything out in March. I’ve continued writing each day based on my quiet times, and there were many times throughout this past month that I remembered that I hadn’t written my update and that I should. Obviously I didn’t. I think it can be hard, whether you have a lot happening or not. When you have a lot happening, it feels harder to pull yourself away from the hubbub and actually write. When you haven’t had as much going, it’s easier to tell yourself that you don’t have anything worth sharing and you don’t want to embarrass yourself.
I want to do better though. I don’t want excuses of too busy or not enough things happening. God is always doing things in our lives, and especially when we care about others and are praying for God to do things through their lives, how cool is it to be able to see that journey. One of the things I learned when I went through my business apprenticeship program was to just get stuff OUT there. Don’t try and make it the best, most polished thing, or you’ll never actually do it. Just get it out there, and it will improve with time.
The past two months for me have been trying, but also a very sweet time of growing. There weren’t any crazy things that happened, yet even seeing God in the consistency was an amazing thing to be able to experience.
To list out all the things that have happened would be impossible (I guess this is why I should write it after a month, not after 2…). Some of the notable things, however, are: The company I work for was sold, I finished DMI, I finished GMC, I got to share the gospel with my upstairs neighbor, My neighbor across from me has been coming to church with me, I’m moving back to Kansas in 1 week, Lia and I celebrated our birthday’s together by her coming to Austin to visit! We completed our last in person pre-marital counseling session!
A lot has been packed into the last two months. If I use the ol’ DBS (discovery bible study) pattern, maybe I can get through everything succinctly. Looking back, looking up, looking forward.
Looking back
As I look back, I see a lot of things coming to an end. Whether that be specifics like the two discipleship groups I’m a part of, or big picture like moving from Austin. God has been so faithful to put me in places that are both healthy for my spiritual walk, and also challenge me to grow, The DMI (Disciple Making Intensive) that I lead with another couple was a very difficult thing now looking back on it. The actual commitment to lead wasn’t challenging at all. What is challenging is looking back and being able to see areas in which I wished I had led differently.
It can certainly be a destructive thing to look back on the ministry God gave you and tear all of the bad things apart. At the same time, however, it can be a good time to look back and asses what you did do, both well and poorly. Unfortunately, I do see a lot of things within my leadership that I think are poor, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think I should have led. In fact, I think that the only way for me to see those areas of weakness in leading had to come from doing it and failing in some ways.
It is so easy for me to become disengaged from something and not put time and effort into it. I’ve found with most things that you get out what you put in, and when it comes right down to it, it’s been hard for me to put myself fully into anything, in the last 5 years if I’m being honest, but specifically the last year. There have been so many moving parts and it can be hard to stay focused on one thing.
Otherwise, as I look back and look to my team in my GMC, I see a lot of sweet memories. Being able to have a team that encourages me in sharing the gospel with my neighbors has been huge. When one of us is too timid or feels too awkward to share, the other is right there filling in the words you couldn’t speak. Having a team in ministry has been absolutely crucial. I also see that balancing a full-time job while also doing ministry can be very difficult. Not impossible, but difficult. Especially in this world of COVID. I’ve been learning more and more ways in how God can use me while in the space that I’m in now
Looking Up
This season has certainly forced me to look up a whole lot. Whether it’s not knowing exactly how to lead in my relationship or my CEO and COO, the founders of the company I work for, selling the company, and figuring out what my role is going to look like moving forward. All the while, seeking to continue in ministry while preparing for a move to another state. It was easy for me to get into the mindset of “I’m going to be leaving in less than a month, so it doesn’t make sense to form friendships or even share the gospel with anyone because i won’t be able to follow-up. That is a lie straight from the enemy, and God has been so gracious to I think give me more gospel conversations in the last two months than he did in the whole year before.
Maybe not quite that extreme, but I feel strongly that by being open and continuing to look for conversations that God brought to me, I was able to have conversations that a Joey a few years ago wouldn’t have been able to have.
Some of what I already mentioned about leadership also plays in. I’ve had to realize that I am truly noty capable of doing anything by myself. Whether that be taking a breath when I wake up in the morning or leading a group of people well. I must constantly come back leaning on God to support those thing.
Looking Forward
I am so, so excited for this next season. Not only because of marriage (which I’m extremely excited about), but because I will be around family and friends, and I want so badly to be able to teach some of the tools and ideas that I’ve learned since being in Austin about how to share your faith. One of the coolest things about the last couple of years is the changing in my mind about the Great Commission. The great commission in Matthew 28 is to every single person who believes in God.
How cool would it be to be able to carry on the vision that Jesus originally gave us 2,000 years ago and teach people how to live it out? I certainly don’t feel equipped to do stuff, but he, if he wants to, can easily use me to further that mission and I think it would be amazing to start in the same town I grew up in.
I’m so excited for this next chapter and it’s going to be a wild ride.