The Dangers Of People Pleasing

Right when I think that I’m on a good track and doing things for the glory of God, I have a heart check and find that I’m still the sinner I’ve always been.

Wednesday was a tough day for me. Not because I had a bad day or any of my surroundings were bad, it was because I realized that I am still so far from the person God desires for me to be. The person that finds true joy in Christ alone. It’s hard for me to tell the story, as I still battle so much with people-pleasing, but it seems important to share my true heart and my failures in the area.

Wednesday, I decided to work at my office so that I could go pick up the last of my things since there’s no end in sight as to when we’ll be working in office again. I worked most of the day there and then had a small bible study after work, then continued working until after dark.

My office is on 6th street in Austin. Specifically, the part of town called “dirty 6th”. There are a lot of rough bars and clubs in the area and a homeless shelter a block away.

On my way out of the office, it was dark and as I walked by all of the homeless, I was reminded again of the brokenness of the world. When I was working in downtown daily, it was hard to forget the broken people living all around me. People who seemed in many ways to have no hope of getting back on their feet. In some ways, I felt convicted that I should spend some time with one of them. That I should at least try and have a conversation with someone.

It’s sometimes hard to find someone who is coherent enough to have an actual conversation, but I thought maybe I should try.

I didn’t.

I kept walking toward my securely locked parking garage where my car was, excited to get home to my comfy house where I had planned a call with Lia, my girlfriend later that evening. Unfortunately, my selfishness and lack of care went further that night.

When I was about two blocks from my parking garage, I looked across the street, and I saw a tall, lanky fellow and a woman walking across the street toward me. The guy looked instantly familiar as the missions paster at my church. One of my favorite speakers of all time, and a guy that you can’t help but come out of a conversation with him feeling inspired to love and care for the nations and the people around you.

I decided to pause there at the corner before walking on so that I could confirm it was him, and if it was, to say hello. I assumed that he wouldn’t recognize me, or that he may recognize me, but he for sure wouldn’t know my name. When they got across the street to me, I quietly called out “Andy”? He looked up with a big smile and said “Hey man! How are ya?” I could tell he didn’t know my name, but I wasn’t sure if he recognized me or he was just being polite. I told him that my name was Joey and I was in a GMC at the Austin Stone. He said he for sure recognized me from one of the events, and then he introduced me to his wife, the woman with him.

I wasn’t trying to take up their entire evening, so I cut short the conversation and said that I didn’t mean to bother them but I thought that I would say hi. He said he was glad I did and we parted ways.

As we parted, that’s when I started to have thoughts that showed the true evil desires of my heart. I started thinking to myself. I wish I would have been sitting talking to a homeless person right as he walked by. Or I wish I had just come from having a long conversation with a homeless person so that I could tell him that’s what I was doing instead of working…

I cared more about the missions pastor at my church seeing that I was helping the poor and homeless than I actually did caring for them. Jesus literally almost talked to me when I spoke these words in his sermon on the mount:

“Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.

“Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” ` Matthew 6:1-4

It’s so easy to start falling into the thought that you’re a good person, but as soon as you do that, you should realize that you are no longer the good person you thought you were. If all you do, you do in order to “be a good person” you will find that it’s neither rewarding enough to sustain, and you’ll end up at the end of the day being a bad person to someone.

God is the only person we serve, and even then, not because we have to in order to earn salvation but because after all He has done for us, how can we help but serve Him?