Something I’ve had to come to the realization of over the last year is that I genuinely don’t enjoy solo adventures. I can enjoy the beauty and exploration behind somewhere if I want to, but when I’m honest with myself, I don’t really enjoy going out and doing stuff by myself.
I haven’t done big backpacking trips by myself, but I have done small weekend trips, and every time I don’t feel very satisfied by the time away. It almost doesn’t feel very restful.
In some ways, I feel the same way about alone time in general. Sometimes, even as an extrovert, I really need time to myself to wind down. To take a break from work or people, but what I’ve found is that no matter how hard I try, these times aren’t often as restful as I hope for them to be. Or they are restful, but the after feeling is not a peaceful one.
I often feel like I’ve wasted time if I spend time with only myself. Even if I was reading a good book or taking a much needed nap, I feel like I’ve wasted time by myself when I could have been spending that time with other people and investing in them.
It’s not that I don’t enjoy the alone time. I actually can sometimes really enjoy it, but it’s the feeling afterward of not doing what I should have been doing. Doing something that had a positive effect on someone else.
Probably something I need to work on, but for now it’s just an interesting observation.