I’ve watched two movies in the last week that have been hard to watch. One was a great movie, one made me wish I had watched a black screen for 2 hours instead.
I mentioned one of the movies in my previous blog post. Its title was Just Mercy. A movie about the racism that continued in the south much longer than anyone wanted to admit. Racism that after this past week with the news of Ahmaud Arbery, may still be more rampant than some would like to admit.
The other movie was a completely forgettable movie that I wish I could get back the two hours of my life that I spent watching it. I wish I had at least stopped sooner, but I kept thinking that it surely must get better, right? I digress. The movie was called the Goldfinch.
The quality of the movies was less what stood out to me though. It was a certain kind of anger and control.
In Just Mercy, it was the unprovoked anger that many white men seemed to have toward a black man who they may have never met in their life. A control that they think they have. If one person asks them a question or says anything they think is remotely contrary, they believe they can beat, strip, or do whatever they want to this person.
A disgusting sort of pride that makes me want to vomit, or more likely, beat the person mistreating a fellow human being (ironic).
In The Goldfinch, there were several scenes that showed fathers abusing their children. For me, there was less anger that I felt and more of a deep sadness. I’m not sure why the difference between the two.
Perhaps it’s that the second one is a relationship between two people that should be close through everything. One that it seems the father may have good intentions most of the time, but perhaps a drinking or drug problem turns them into an abusive parent.
How sad it is to know that they are hurting children who at one time they may have loved and couldn’t have imagined hurting. In either case, there is anger within both of these movies that I still struggle to comprehend but gives me more pause to think about the great love that Christ has shown us.
For me, it may seem that this anger that I’m seeing in these movies is completely far out. Something I can’t relate to and can’t understand. Actions that infuriate me and make my blood boil inside. Knowing that my sin is no different. While I may not hit anyone or even hurt anyone physically, what things have my heart done that are just as evil?
The anger that I have felt at a person at any time. Even the anger I’ve felt at these racists and abusers can be sinful. What evil do I wish upon these people whom I have no knowledge of? Can I not much more wish love for them and that they would repent from their sin?
Or potentially it’s the lust that I have had in my heart for a woman. What evil things have I thought in my mind or desired in my heart that is just as detestable as what these others have done?
And even still, Christ saved me. Even in all the evil I have thought and done, he rescued me from it.
It’s hard not to copy the entire 2nd chapter from the book of Ephesians here. But here’s an excerpt that has broken me today:
“And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus”
There is nothing that we could have or can do to earn a life with Christ. It is only because he is so good and rescued us even as enemies of Him. How incredible is our God and how amazing is he to save a wretch as I am? I truly was blind and he opened my eyes. I can’t help but try and help others to have their eyes opened by Him as well. What kind of a friend would I be if I didn’t?