As someone who likes to help others and give time to them, you would think that I, of all people, would understand and appreciate the reciprocation of this. The truth is, I absolutely do. But that doesn’t mean that it’s easy.
Many are familiar with the 5 love languages. Quality time, service, gift-giving, words of affirmation, and physical touch. I generally consider my biggest one quality time followed up by service. The people I love, I want to spend time with. I want to show them my appreciation for their existence by being around them. That, or at the very least, do something that shows my appreciation for them. Whether that’s something as simple as picking a person up, or helping them do a task they would have struggled with.
The problem is, even though I love to do this. I love showing my appreciation for someone by doing something for them, it’s extremely difficult for me to receive that same kind of care. I feel like I’m inconveniencing someone, or worse yet, I feel like they’re doing something I should have done for myself.
9 times out of 10, if we’re sitting at the table and there’s a buffet-style line, you stand up and say “Hey, do you want something from the buffet?” I will say no. Not because I don’t want anything, but because I’ve trained myself to not need this help. To not inconvenience others.
What I fail to recognize is that there are many others like me, who love to serve and help others. It brings them true enjoyment. Who am I to not allow them to do this? It takes work to learn how to accept a gift…it sounds weird, but it really is odd. It’s not an easy thing for us to freely accept something we’re given.