I’ve had several discussions recently with friends talking about how to connect with people. When I first moved to Austin, it was crazy to me how easy it was to meet people. Whether it was me going up to random people at the park and asking them if they wanted to play Spikeball, or knocking on people’s doors, everyone was interested in conversation and getting to know you.

As I was here for several weeks though I noticed that very few of these initial interactions ever turned into much more past the initial interest. Austin is growing at such a high rate that there are so many people who are wanting to connect it’s easy to start conversation because everyone wants to meet people.

But as it came to actually investing in long term friendships, I found it extremely difficult to connect with people. It was as much myself as it was others. I realized after the first conversation getting to know these people I wasn’t particularly interested in getting to know them better. Maybe it was because I already had close friends in other places of the world and I had forgotten what it took to make these friendships in the first place.

I love it when friendships and relationships can happen organically but sometimes it takes extra work up front to get the organic to begin. Something I’ve found extremely helpful is doing something with your life. That sounds a bit harsh, but what I mean is don’t just “get to know” people by inviting them to coffee to get to know them.

I take that back. Do that, it’s a great way to get to know people, but don’t let that be your only source of getting to know others. I give you a 99% guarantee that the friendship will fail if that’s all you do with it. There has to be activity involved. There have to be similar interests.

I love having something that I can invite people to. It’s best if it’s something that happen on a consistent basis. That way if they can’t make it this time they can make it in future weeks. I’ve at times invited people to church with me and it’s a great place to invite people to, but depending on who they are, they may be hesitant to meet in an organized church setting.

Growing up, I loved inviting people to a pickup Ultimate Frisbee game I played every week. If the person had no interest in sports, it may not be a good fit but even people who hadn’t played sports much before were interested in it because Ultimate was a relatively easy sport and the people who played it were always very kind and helpful.

Having something consistent that I could invite people I met to was a great way to form deeper friendships. Some of my closest friends today I know through being able to invite them into activities in my life. Instead of having to make such intentional conversation every time we got together, conversation flowed more naturally because we were experiencing life together.

Do something on a consistent basis so you can invite people to it. If you can’t find something out there, start something and start inviting to it. It’s easier than you might think, you just have to take a little initiative.