I don’t know anything about food and the bads and goods of organic vs not organic vs etc. So this article has nothing to do with food.

Instead, I’m wondering about organic as it comes to friendships and relationships. There’s something special about truly organic connections. Where neither person has to work very hard, they simply just end up being a perfect fit for each other. You see this with kids often meeting their “best friend” or couples who have incredible chemistry before even realizing what was happening.

It seems like it would make sense that these would be the strongest most powerful kind of friendships and relationships but I’ve started to wonder if it’s actually the opposite. When friendships and relationships are built purely off the organic way the friendship was formed it can often cause false expectations for what the future will look like.

Since I’m reaching hard for an analogy, think of it like organic food. Organic food is really good for a short amount of time (remember I don’t know anything about food). The organic food is great for you but isn’t going to last for weeks and weeks most likely. That’s what makes it so good is that it’s fresh, it’s real. However, it doesn’t age well. The food that has all the preservatives may be 10x worse for you but it will last 3x as long as the organic stuff…

Now that I completely got off track with that analogy that doesn’t really work…I digress.

A quote I heard: “If you find a group that just wants to be ‘organic’ and unstructured, I wouldn’t recommend joining it. It will probably not be healthy for long”

It makes sense. People like the freedom that comes from not having to talk about things that are uncomfortable. For as long as they can, they want to live at peace without having to confront each other about things. Unfortunately, we’re humans, and it’s impossible for two humans to never have a disagreement on anything ever.

Eventually, you are going to hit times where that “organic” connection is challenged because you don’t feel the same connection. The problem though is that now you’re not conditioned to handle this kind of friction. It’s hard to relate and bond so often we let go of it.

However, think of this; a friendship or relationship that starts off with its challenges and disagreements is used to these situations. One person disagrees with the other? They figure out early on how to deal with this. If they make it through the early part of the friendship with these conflicts, then they can better handle them later on.

My best friend and I grew up hating each other at times. I distinctly remember a time he had me in a chokehold against the barn next to his house and I thought for sure I was going to die until our moms interrupted him. We worked through so many situations like that and now there’s almost nothing that could come between us because we’ve been tossed all the curveballs.

So, next time that you’re looking for that organic connection, remember that those might be fun and easy at first, but if you’re looking for something that’s going to last you may have to do a little extra work upfront to get to a more meaningful long term relationship.