There’s a big push in recent years to “just be you.” That whoever you are is a great person no matter what anyone says and you should fully embrace yourself and your faults and love yourself.
It may be some of the best BS I’ve ever heard. It’s incredibly enticing from a human perspective of wanting to be accepted and cared for. You figure, if no one else is going to care about me I guess I might as well.
A couple of years ago I was talking with one of my close friends about one of our mutual friends. An unhealthy habit. In this conversation though, as we were talking, we mentioned how this mutual friend was very authentic and very much “themselves.” Whatever was going on in their mind came out physically, whether through their actions or their words. We asked each other if this was good?
Transparency is a great thing, but is that what this was? It was like the friend paid so little attention to everything around him that even if everyone in the room felt awkward and uncomfortable he wouldn’t have the slightest clue.
The friend I was talking to then said one of the most profound things I’ve ever heard:
“Be you, but be you good.”
It hit the heart of this entire movement. This movement of “loving yourself” can have good effects, though I’m convinced for the most part it is a narcissistic leading mindset. Instead of having the mindset of always be yourself it seems much better to have a goal of who you want “yourself” to be and then live like that.
It’s not pretending to be someone you’re not and it’s not neglecting what anyone ever says about you. It’s being conscious of what others’ perceptions are of you. What kind of impact does it seem you’re having on those around you? Is it a positive one? Is it negative?
The key is to not be so caught up in whatever you’re doing that you lose sight of what’s truly important to you. Who are the people that you want to “please.” Sure. You shouldn’t seek to please anyone, but at the same time, I do believe you should seek to serve others. Not with the intent that you’ll get something back from it but with the intent that it’s what you want to do. You should get to the point where serving others is what you truly want to do.
From my experience, the more I focus on myself and doing everything I can for me, the less happy I am. The more I’m working to create value for others and seeking to help them, the more content I am.
The sum of the blogpost title: Should you care about what other people think about you?
Yes. Not because that is where you get your identity or security from but because it helps give you a sign as to whether the things you are doing are creating value for others and if you are being you but being you good.
Continually ask yourself this grammatically cancerous question.
Are you being you good?