Have you ever done something for a long period of time thinking someone likes it or wants it and then finding out later they hated it?
I’ve heard this multiple times with couples. Maybe the wife makes a meal for the husband and it’s completely terrible but he wants her to feel good about it so he says he really likes it. Well, she thought it tasted terrible too, but now she thinks her husband really likes it so now it’s one of her go to recipies.
She continues to make as one of “his favorites” for years and only finds out after 15 years of marriage when he says that he doesn’t want it because it’s garbage. Both of them thought they were doing the other a favor but they were actually both hurting each other.
I just experienced it this week on a much smaller scale. As I was visiting Charleston SC, the first time I got in my friend’s car the windows were down and we drove home. The next day was super nice and as we got in the car he rolled down the windows again. I took this to mean that perhaps he just likes windows rather than A/C. I know some people prefer that.
Every day we got in the car and one of the first things I did was roll down the window because it was so hot. My back would get sweaty in the car because the wind could only do so much. I thought about asking about A/C a couple of times but thought, what the heck, his car, if he prefers windows then I’ll do it too.
Long story short, I found out after almost a week of being there that he actually hates windows down and prefers A/C but he thought I preferred windows so he didn’t say anything and let me just use them instead.
We both thought we were helping the other one but we were both actually holding the other back.
The moral of all of this is: Communication. Communication. Communication. Speak the things that you’re wondering that way you don’t end up doing something no one enjoys for the next 3 months.