I Am Dumb and That’s Okay

It’s not a secret that I hide anymore that I stopped doing school at the age of 10 or 11.

Something that I looked at with shame for much of my life I actually see as a great asset to me now. I spent so much time around people and learning how to understand and build relationships. I clearly wasted much of the time that I wasn’t in a structured learning environment, but I am so grateful for the many things that I was able to do because of it.

Anyone who says they wouldn’t change a thing about previous years of their life have a shallow view of what can be accomplished by even small changes. If you have grown at all in life, there should be things that you would do differently. I understand that expressions like “I have no regrets” or “I wouldn’t change a thing” are normally said with the mindset that they are happy where they have ended up because of the choices they made — that they’re a better person in the long run because of those decisions.

I understand and agree with those sentiments. As I mentioned, I am incredibly grateful for my years growing up because I had the freedom to learn and grow outside the confines of a predetermined curriculum that may or may not have had bearing on what I was interested in.

I certainly wish that I had spent more of the freedom I had on pursuing the things I was interested in harder. I think I could have been great at any number of things but never fully applied myself to any. Many people have this feeling when they look at their past.

For me, I’ve had to come to the conclusion that I’m dumb.

Now before you start commenting trying to make me feel better about myself (mom), what  i mean by that is everyone is dumb. Everyone is dumb compared to someone else. Everyone is dumb to a certain skill.

You may be the smartest businessman in the world, but you may not have a clue how to perform a heart transplant. You may be the smartest doctor in the world, but you may not have a clue how to survive a day on streets run by gangs. You may be the scrappiest inner city gangster in the world, but you may not have a clue about how to raise a child from birth. You may be the best mother in the world, but you may not have a clue how to build a car from nothing.

I think you get the idea. Everyone is dumb to something. This is simply because there are too many things in this world to be an expert at all of them. You may have a natural intelligence that allows you to pick things up more quickly than others, but even if you spent every week gaining a new skill and becoming the best at it, at the end of your life, you will still be dumb to something. You might be able to become an expert in a week, but you’re not now.

As I find myself in conversations with people who are highly intelligent in their field, it can be tempting to think I’ve missed out because they’re so smart on this subject I don’t even understand enough to ask questions about, but what I’ve realized is that it’s okay that I know nothing about some things.

You can take this to the extreme – as you can with all things – and not apply yourself to anything, but in general, not knowing how to do something is a normal part of life.

This is easier for some people to grasp than others. For myself, I’ve always been the jack-of-all-trades type, so not knowing how to do something bothered me a lot growing up. I also had the ability to pick things up very quickly. So if there was something I couldn’t do, I would quickly apply myself to it for a week or two, become decent at it and move on. It was like I had to prove to myself that I could do it.

I’ve had to lay that to rest now since I don’t have time to apply myself to learn all the things people are better than me at.

I’m dumb at a lot of things, including most normal school subjects, but I’ve got common sense, an ability to learn quickly, and a desire to go after things that help me toward my long-term goal.

Don’t worry about what you’re dumb at, worry about what you care about being smart at. Learn from what you’re dumb at from the people who are smart at it. Be intentional about what you want to be smart at, then everything else is bonus.

And most importantly, don’t worry about the number of sentences I ended with the word “at.”

It’s fine. And it helps you understand where my schooling is at.