Back several years ago, I tried a thing.
I never enjoyed Facebook birthday messages. They felt so disingenuous. Every once in awhile someone would leave something clever that I actually felt like they put time and thought into, but otherwise, the plain old “happy birthday” messages meant nothing to me.
Maybe it’s because my love language is not words of affirmation, but I couldn’t care less about it, so I did an experiment.
About 2 days before my birthday, I took my birthday off of Facebook and waited to see what would happen.
0 posts on my wall.
This wasn’t a pitty party experiment. I legitimately didn’t care about the birthday wishes. They were nice and all, but I think in general, birthday’s have never been that big of a deal to me.
The two seconds people took to write on a wall after being reminded by Facebook about my birthday didn’t have an impact on my views of myself, so I got rid of it.
However, there have been a few people on occasion that I will write extremely thought out birthday notes to on their birthday.
These messages often mean a lot to the person.
I still don’t get all excited about birthday’s, but it gives me a bit of an excuse to send a heartfelt note without feeling weird about it. People are (almost) always okay with receiving these kind of notes, but I feel weird unless it’s the right time – like a birthday.
Since I’m not a words of affirmation person, it gives me a chance to really get my thoughts and appreciation out for someone. I might think things for a long time but never tell them. A great outlet.
I’ve gotten out of the habit of doing this, but I really want to get back into it. It’s one of the best ways to not only show you care about someone, but to keep strong relationships with people you might not see that often.
Isaac Morehouse gives the advice to “look for excuses to write thank you notes.” I can’t think of a better excuse than someone’s birthday.
Write birthday notes. You’ll make people’s lives better. Including yours.