“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” – Romans 7:15

Words from the apostle Paul that I think ring true, not only for Christians but for all people. I’ve seen many memes in my time that talk about planning to do so many great things but then when it comes time to do them, you waste time on other things.

I especially remember this when I worked as a lifeguard at a local pool. It was incredibly boring during the morning hours when I often worked and I always would think of all the things I would do when I was home. Practice piano and cello, work on projects, etc, I would even look forward to them.

But something happened as soon as I clocked out and began my drive home. I lost all motivation for doing productive things and preferred to do nothing or take a nap.

I had the greatest aspirations and longings not 5 minutes before but something about actually having the ability to do them took all the joy out of doing them.

It is so easy for us to get in the habit of doing things that are unhelpful to our growth in the future. It’s so easy to focus only on the short-term rather than the long-term. I’ve gotten better in many areas, but I still find myself falling back into this.

Even things like exploring, something I love to do, are getting pushed aside because I would rather relax at the house after a long day of work. I know that I want to go explore and visit new things, but when I actually have the opportunity to do it, I skip the opportunity.

People will call this different things. Maybe resistance, maybe laziness, who knows. For me, if I’m noticing it and it’s bothering me, I have to recognize it as sin. While what I’m doing isn’t a sin in itself, doing it while understanding the greater things that I could be doing is a sin.

We have so much opportunity in this world to be active and have an impact but if you only spend your “free time” on Netflix and chill, you’re going to have some serious regrets about the possibilities you had to work on truly lasting and purposeful things.