I‘ve quoted this many times but one of my favorite quotes from my time in North Carolina was one my Bible teacher gave. “Communication is difficult at best.”
I heard yet another quote about communication while going through the book “Prospect the Sandler Way.” He says “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
A simple but important reminder.
Specifically, in my life, I have noticed this in situations where I will be mad at someone for something they did or didn’t do, meanwhile not telling them that I was upset by the thing they did.
Then I avoid them and by doing so they get upset because I’m avoiding them. Then we slowly part ways thinking that we both don’t like the other person or that our personalities have drifted apart.
In reality though, neither one is really mad at the other. Sure. There was the small thing but nothing that would warrant separating over. There is a subconscious communication where both parties feel like the other has something against them.
And rather than deal with these things, they decide it’s easier just to move on. They think there has been the communication they need over the issue but in reality, there really hasn’t been any communication at all.
When you start convincing yourself that you’ve “communicated” with someone, that might be a good time to doubt that you actually have. If you’re having to convince yourself of it, you probably haven’t done it as sufficiently as you should.
Communication is difficult at best but it gets even worse when we pretend it’s happened and it hasn’t.